【英语生活】北京法院建议允许同妻撤销婚姻

A few months after Americans approved gay marriage at the ballot box for the first time, a Chinese court has stirred controversy by recommending China making it easier for women to escape marriages to gay men.

The First Intermediate Court of Beijing recently submitted a report calling for legislation that would allow people who discover their spouses are gay to avoid the messiness of divorce by filing for an annulment instead, according to state media.

After winning an annulment, the person who filed the request would be legally listed as single instead of divorced, the state-run Xinhua news agency said.

Although the court's proposed regulation could technically apply to anyone, it appears to be aimed primarily at tongqi ( ), or straight women married to gay men.

There are no official estimates of the population of tongqi in China, but Zhang Beichuan, an HIV/AIDS researcher and sexologist at Qingdao University, puts the number at around 10 million. When bisexual and transgender men are taken into account, the number increases to 16 million, says Mr. Zhang, who arrived at that estimate by applying marriage rates to demographic studies of gay populations.

'Around 80% of gay men get married because they feel they have the responsibility to pass on their family names 岸 to be so-called filial sons,' Mr. Zhang says.

Officially classified as a mentally ill by the Chinese Psychiatric Association up until 2001, gay, lesbian and transgender people have won increasing acceptance in China in recent years, particularly in major cities like Shanghai and Guangzhou, both of which boast vibrant gay communities. A public gay wedding in coastal Fujian province in October was widely applauded online in what many gay rights activists described as a sign of Chinese society's growing inclusiveness.

But gay weddings, which are not recognized by law, are still rare. And if some Chinese take a 'live and let live' approach to gay strangers, at home it's a different story. The reason: Being gay prevents men from fulfilling what many Chinese parents see as a son's highest duty.

'There are three ways to be unfilial. The worst is to have no heir,' wrote the ancient philosopher Mencius in an exhortation still widely repeated today.

As a result, most gay men force themselves to marry women. In some cases, a gay man will marry a lesbian friend, allowing both to live their lives as they see fit while satisfying their families' desire to see them hitched. For those who can't find a willing matrimonial co-conspirator, there's now a website, chinagayles.com, that offers to match marriage-minded gay men and lesbians. In many other cases, however, the man will pretend to be straight in order to attract a wife, having sex with her only long enough to father the coveted next generation.

The plight of tongqi came to the fore in June last year after a 31-year-old woman in southwestern China's Sichuan province leapt to her death after discovering her husband of six months was gay. The woman's parents sued the husband, claiming he had deceived their daughter into marriage and demanding 630,000 yuan ($101,000) in damages. A report published on the official Sichuan government news website earlier this month said a local court had rejected the suit, ruling that the marriage was legally legitimate (in Chinese).

Straight women who find themselves in such situations are often unable to get out, especially after having a child, according to Mr. Zhang. 'Even if they're no longer having sex with their husbands, they're still attached to the family,' he says. 'Think about it. If they get divorced, they lose their husband, their child, their money, their house.'

The Beijing court proposal removes one barrier to escape the legal hassle and stigma of divorce according to one tongqi support group volunteer quoted by Xinhua. 'A divorced man in his 40s can still be sought-after and find a 20-something woman to marry. But when it comes to a divorced woman of the same age, that is absolutely not the case,' the volunteer, who was not named, told the news agency.
Others have praised the proposed law as a potential deterrent to gay men who are considering marrying a straight woman under false pretenses.

For his part, Mr. Zhang is conflicted over the court's report, which was published on January 10. 'Generally speaking, I think it's a good thing that the tongqi problem is getting attention in the legal world it's a form of progress. But each case is different, and each needs to be handled carefully,' he says. 'The intention is good, but [the proposal] isn't detailed enough.'

Among the questions the proposal doesn't address, according to critics: whether women who have children with their gay husbands can file for annulment, and how to handle cases in which men only fully realize their homosexuality after getting married.

Ultimately, the problem won't be solved until China stops discriminating against homosexuals, argues Hu Zhijun, executive director of the China chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

'The judge's proposal is a complete 'misdiagnosis' of the problem. They've written a prescription without figuring out the root of the sickenss,' Mr. Hu, also known by his nickname Ah Qiang, wrote in a blog post (in Chinese) after the proposal was made public. 'The tongqi problem needs to be solved, and it absolutely requires the adoption of a new law, but a law that allows gay marriage that gives gay people the right to live with the people they love.'

Even more urgent than a gay marriage law, he argued, was education aimed at helping the public better understand homosexuality. 'We also need to improve education for comrades and encourage them to be themselves' he wrote using common Chinese slang for gay men. 'With reductions in bias and discrimination, gay people will naturally avoid entering into straight marriages.'

Olivia Geng / Josh Chin

Agence France-Presse/Getty Images2012年10月2日，在福建柘荣的一家酒店，公开结婚的男同性恋刘旺强与陆忠（中）在婚礼后接吻。图为围观他们的人群。虽然社会对于同性恋的态度正在发生转变，但是中国的很多男同性恋还是为了满足家庭传宗接代的需求而与异性恋女子结婚。
在美国人首次通过选票认可同性婚姻几个月之后，一家中国法院建议中国为女性摆脱与同性恋男子的婚姻开启方便之门，引起了一番争议。

因此大部分同性恋男子都强迫自己跟女人结婚。在某些情况下，同性恋男子会跟一位女同性恋友人结婚，这样两个人都可以过自己认为合适的生活，同时满足各自家人看到他们结婚的愿望。如果找不到人愿意跟自己结婚，那么现在他们可以登陆“中国形式婚姻网”(chinagayles.com)。这个网站为想结婚的男女同性恋牵线搭桥。但在另外的很多情况下，男同会为了找老婆而假装是直男并与她发生性关系，这种关系只维持到生出大家都想要的下一代的时候。

去年6月，四川省的一名31岁女性在结婚六个月后因为发现丈夫是同性恋而跳楼自杀，这一事件令同妻的不幸遭遇受到了广泛关注。这名女子的父母指控她的丈夫骗婚，并要求63万余元的赔偿金。四川政府官方新闻网站上的报道称，地方法院驳回了诉讼请求，判决称两人的结合符合婚姻法的规定。

张北川说，同妻在得知真相后通常无法脱身，尤其是有了孩子之后。即使他们不再与丈夫过性生活，她们仍然受到家庭的牵绊。他说，想想看，如果离婚，她们将失去丈夫、孩子、钱和房子。

新华社援引一名同妻互助组织志愿者的话说，北京第一中级人民法院的建议为同妻摆脱法律上的束缚和离婚的污点清除了一个障碍。这名志愿者说，40多岁的离异男性仍然会有很多追求者，可以找20多岁的女性结婚，可这个年龄段的离异女性的情况就完全不同了。

另外一些人对这个提案表示赞成是因为，他们认为这对想隐瞒自己的同性恋身份并与异性恋女子结婚男子构成了威慑。

就张北川而言，他对法院的1月10日这份报告的态度有些矛盾。他说，总的来说，我认为同妻问题得到法律界的关注是件好事，这是一种进步，但每个案子的情况不同，需要审慎处理。他说，建议的初衷是好的，但是不够细化。

批评人士说，这份提案缺少对一些问题的关注，比如，与同性恋丈夫育有子女的同妻能否撤销婚姻？男性在婚后才意识到自己是同性恋的情况该如何处理？

同性恋亲友会(China chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays,PFLAG)的执行主任胡志军说，归根结底，如果中国不停止对同性恋的歧视，这个问题就无法解决。

建议公布后，胡志军以“阿强”这个名字在博客上写到，法官的建议完全是误诊，根本没有找到真正的病因，就急着乱开药。他说，同妻问题的最终解决，的确需要立法，但这个立法应当是为同性婚姻立法，让同性恋有权利跟自己相爱的人一起生活。

他说，比立法更重要、更紧迫的是，要加强对公众的教育，让民众了解什么是同性恋，也要加强同志社群的教育，鼓励同志勇敢做自己。他说，偏见和歧视少了，同性恋者自然不愿意走进异性婚姻。

Olivia Geng / Josh Chin

（本文版权归道琼斯公司所有，未经许可不得翻译或转载。）关键词：同性恋婚姻  婚姻  性  女人