【英语生活】属下有体臭，怎么告诉他？

Problem:

I run a small media company and have an admirable young junior member of staff who works well, is (or would be) popular and is a good team player. But he comes to work and he smells. I don't know if it is his armpits, his clothes or his feet, but the pong is the subject of much comment in the office and is really off-putting. I think the other employees expect me to do something about it, but what? Can I get someone else to tell him or must I? And how?

Manager/director, male, 49

Answers:

There is one word in your message that fills me with dread. That word isn't smell – it's small.

How small is your media company, I wonder? Is it too small to have a personnel person for you to dump the problem on? One of the beauties of personnel is they can tell malodorous workers that they must wash more carefully, and then give precise instructions and targets for how it is to be done.

Assuming that there is no such person, you have a serious problem. Such is the mad and twisted nature of managing other people that telling someone they have BO can be harder than telling them they are fired.

Partly this is because we are squeamish and were taught as children never to make personal remarks. It is also because the intimacy of what people get up to (or not) in their bathrooms is outside the remit of managers. To go crashing into this zone would be horribly embarrassing for you, and humiliating for the smeller. Worse still, after this most hideous of embarrassments, normal working relationships must be resumed. In all, it would better for everyone if you outsource the job to someone else.

Do you have a nice deputy? Otherwise you could pick someone else in the department who can do it for you. If they handle this delicate management task, they could well deserve a promotion.

There is a slight danger that by delegating you look weak to your team. This can be avoided by explaining to the messenger that you are saving the feelings of the malodorous underling. This would be the truth – in part.

And tell the messenger that he or she must be explicit. My husband once had a problem like this and dealt with it so ineptly that he managed to offend the smeller without making him change his stinky habits.

SPELL IT OUT
It is your responsibility to tell him. Obtain some literature that explains the importance of washing your clothes and yourself every day. Sit him down and gently take him through it. Draw an analogy from smoking as smokers don't realise that they smell of smoke but everyone else does. Accentuate what a good job he does and how his problem will hold his career back if he doesn't cure it.

Finance director, male, 50s

STEALTH PONGERS
Send him an anonymous e-mail. There are many websites that can help you (some for a fee). I've done this successfully to several colleagues who have had bad breath. Doing it this way makes it less embarrassing for both of you.

Manager, female, 26

SMELL SORTED
This was how I did it. I asked the guy into my office and said that colleagues had mentioned his strong BO, and asked if he had a medical condition we should be aware of? The poor chap was very embarrassed and explained he was in a rush in the morning to get his kids ready for school and didn't have time for a shower. I suggested he use the showers in the office and also suggested deodorant. Two weeks later he popped into my office and asked if there had been more complaints and I said no, and thanked him for taking action – and that was the end of the matter.

Manager, male, 51

SMELL COVERED UP

I once had a lovely, happy woman on my team who smelled awful. I didn't say anything but got a can of air spray and freshened my office each time she left.
Executive, male, 46

DEEPER ISSUES

I know a manager who took someone aside to tell them they smelt. It transpired that the person was sleeping rough. There could be a very good reason for your employee's problem – and you should get to the bottom of it now, for everyone's good.

Manager, female, 40s

CALL THIS A PROBLEM?

This is the least problematic problem I have ever come across. Tell him, and tell him now. I think the English suffer from this more than other peoples – a remnant of Victorian prudishness. How I wish all performance problems I deal with affecting direct reports were related to easy things such as bodily functions and not harder ones such as motivation, etc.

Trader, male, Dutch

问题

我开了一家小型传媒公司。公司里有一位很优秀的年轻低层员工，他工作出色，很受欢迎（或者以后会受欢迎），而且很有团队精神。但他来上班时，身上总是臭烘烘的。我不知道那是他的腋臭、衣服臭，还是脚臭，但这种臭味成了办公室里的大部分话题，而且确实令人讨厌。我想，其他员工希望我对此做点什么，但我能做什么呢？我该找个人告诉他，还是必须由我告诉他？怎么办好呢？

经理/主管，男，49岁

凯拉韦答复

在你的来信中有一个词让我感到可怕。这个词不是“臭”(smell)，而是“小”(small)。

我想知道你的传媒公司有多小？难道小到连一个能帮你解决这个问题的人事职员都没有吗？人事职员的优点之一就是，他们能告诉有体臭的员工，必须更仔细地洗澡，然后就具体做法给出确切指导和指标。

假设没有这么个人，那你的问题就严重了。告诉别人身上有体臭，比告诉他们被解雇了还难，这就是管理别人既令人发疯和苦恼的特性。

部分原因在于，我们都过于拘谨，而且从小受到的教育就告诉我们，千万不要评论别人的私人问题。另一个原因是，人们在浴室里干（或不干）什么这种隐私，不在经理的职权范围之内。闯入这一禁区将使你非常尴尬，也会让那个有体臭的人感到丢人。更糟糕的是，在这种极为可怕的尴尬之后，还得花精力恢复原有的正常工作关系。总而言之，如果你把这项工作外包给别人做，那么对所有人都比较有利。

有能替你代劳的合适人选吗？如果没有，你可以在部门中选一个能为你做这件事的人。如果他能完成这个棘手的管理任务，那么他理应得到晋升。

但让别人代劳有一个小风险：你会在团队成员面前显得有点软弱。但这种情况是可以避免的，方法是向那位代言人解释，你是在照顾那个有体味下属的感受。这是事实——在某种程度上。

另外还要告诉那位代言人，必须直截了当。我先生曾遇到过一个类似的问题，但处理得很不得当，以至于他冒犯了那个有体臭的人，而那人却没有改掉臭烘烘的毛病。

循循善诱

告诉他是你的责任。找些说明每天洗衣服和洗澡重要性的资料。让他坐下，和善地带他阅读这些资料。可以举抽烟的例子，因为抽烟的人意识不到自己身上的烟味，但其他人却都能闻到。强调他工作做得多么出色，并告诉他如果不改掉毛病，他的职业发展会受到影响。

财务总监，男，50多岁

匿名信

给他发一封匿名电子邮件。你可以借助许多网站（有些是付费的）。我已经对几个有口臭的同事这么做了，结果很成功。这种方式会使双方都少些尴尬。

经理，女，26岁

直言不讳

下面是我的做法。我把那个人叫到我的办公室，告诉他同事们提到了他浓重的体味，并问他是不是有某种我们应当知道的病症？那个可怜的家伙非常尴尬，解释说他早上时间很紧，要为孩子们做好上学的准备，没有时间淋浴。我建议他用办公室里的淋浴，并用些除臭剂。两周后，他突然走进我的办公室，问我还有没有人抱怨。我说没有，并对他的行动表示感谢——这个问题就这么解决了。

经理，男，51岁

空气清新剂

在我的团队中，曾有一位可爱、活泼的女士，但她的体味太可怕了。我什么也没说，但弄来一罐空气清新剂，每次她离开后，就喷遍办公室。

高管，男，46岁

深入了解

我知道有位经理曾把一个人拉到一边，告诉他有体味。结果才知道那个人一直在户外露宿。对于发生员工身上的问题，可能背后都有很充分的理由。你应该深入了解，这样对所有人都好。

经理，女，40多岁

这算是个问题吗？

这是我遇到过的最不是问题的问题。告诉他，现在就告诉他。我想英国人比其它国家的人都深受其害——这是一种维多利亚式时代过分拘谨的遗风。我多么希望我遇到的影响下属表现的问题，都是与身体机能等简单问题有关的事情，而不是像激励员工那么复杂的问题啊！

交易员，男，荷兰人

译者/梁鸥