平台严格禁止发布违法/不实/欺诈等垃圾信息，一经发现将永久封禁帐号，针对违法信息将保留相关证据配合公安机关调查！
2010-5-30 13:54
The Problem
</u>My PA told me she had to go into hospital and would be off for two weeks. I said she should take as much time off as she needed. When I asked what she was having done, she revealed it was cosmetic surgery. I then told her she must take it as holiday, and she is now angry and threatening to quit. I feel I am in the right, but don't want to lose her as she is efficient and pleasant. Help! Manager, male, 37 LUCY KELLAWAY: THE ANSWER You are going to have to choose which is more important to you: having a good PA or being right. If you are even slightly sensible you'll realise that the first is more important – by a long way. Unfortunately, you've already upset her quite badly, so you need to try to make that better. Tell her you've changed your mind and why: because you value her and don't want to lose her. Lay it on with a trowel. It is impossible to tell people too often or too enthusiastically that they are valued. If you decide that being right is what matters to you, you are too intransigent to be a boss at all. In this case, I'm not surprised that she is threatening to resign. She probably doesn't like her job much anyway. On the lesser question of whether in fact you are right, it is a grey area. You don't tell us what the surgery is for, which may be because you don't know. Although if that is the case, don't even dream of asking. Your questions have done enough harm as it is. If she has decided to have, say, a nose job because she feels she'd look nicer, she should surely take that as holiday. On the other hand, she could argue that her massive honker was interfering with her mental health and so the operation was as necessary as any other – although on the whole I'm with you on this. You should also work out how you are going to behave when she gets back. A colleague recently returned from a “holiday” with lips like a baboon. This presented a ticklish etiquette problem. I decided that the best thing was to pretend not to notice and to say nothing at all. As you know your PA is having cosmetic surgery I would ask on her return if she is fully recovered in a considerate tone of voice. Probably best not to comment on the result. And don't stare. GOOD RIDDANCE You've done yourself a great favour. The woman may be narrowly competent, but she isn't loyal and is deceptive, if not outright dishonest. And rather than be chagrined by her own behaviour, she makes threats. You are lucky to be rid of her. Consultant, female, 40s SEND FLOWERS Two weeks off for cosmetic surgery??!! What's she doing? A complete face-over? You may be curious, but by asking you may already have broken the law. In most countries there are laws safeguarding privacy by which an employee taking sick leave must show proof of hospitalisation but is not required to state the reason. You have also ruined your relationship. Say sorry and send flowers to the hospital. Risk officer, female, 36 PRETTY(ER) WOMAN It is very cheeky but I think you will just have to bite the bullet and eat some humble pie. She has you over a barrel as good PAs are hard to find. Let her go and get herself nipped and tucked. Once all that swelling goes down she will look a damn sight better in the office, so it is of benefit to you too. PA, female, 36 VANITY UNFAIR You are quite right. If the surgery is for vanity, she must not be given time off. I assume you don't pay your employees to visit the hairdresser, gym or beauty salon – so why an operating theatre for elective cosmetic surgery? Banker, male, 53 SHE COULD SUE Get legal advice: you may be lining up for a lawsuit if you force her to take it as holiday because she might argue that it's necessary for her self-esteem. Depending on the advice you receive, offer her one week off as a gesture of goodwill. And remember to compliment her on her improved looks (unless it is breast enhancement, in which case better not). Analyst, female, 30 PRETTY(ER) WOMAN 2 I had a colleague like this. She went away for a few weeks and came back after an operation where she must have lost about 10-15kg in weight. She was a much happier and more confident person after the operation. Don't assume cosmetic surgery is only for beauty. It can also be physiological. If you get an even more efficient PA back afterwards you will be happy. Whether it should be sick leave or holiday – perhaps a 50/50 split? Accountant, male, 40s 问题：我的私人助理对我说她得住院，两周不能来上班。我告诉她，需要休息多久就可以休息多久。但当我问她是要去治什么病时，她透露是要做整形外科手术。于是，我告诉她，必须把这次休息算作休假。现在，她生气了，扬言要辞职。我觉得自己是对的，却不想失去她，因为她能干又讨人喜欢。帮帮我吧！
经理，男性，37岁 露西•凯拉韦的答复 你必须得选择一下，哪个对你更重要：是有一个好的私人助理，还是让自己做得正确？如果你有起码的理智，你就会意识到，第一点更重要——而且重要得多。 不幸的是，你已经让她很不高兴了，所以，你需要努力改善一下状况。告诉她，你改变了主意，为什么呢？因为你认为她很有价值，不想失去她。大大吹捧她一番。告诉别人他们有多重要，怎么频繁、怎么热情都不嫌过分。 如果你认为，对你来说，自己做得对更重要，那你就太不懂妥协了，根本不能当老板。如果是这样的话，她扬言要辞职，也就不奇怪了。也许，她并不是太喜欢自己的工作。 关于你是否真的正确这个次要问题，也不是那么清楚。你没说她是哪里要动手术，也许因为你也不知道。不过，如果是这样的话，你也别去问，连想都不要想。你的问题造成的伤害已经够大的了。 如果她决定去做一个，比如说，鼻子整形，因为她觉得自己会变得更好看，那么，她的确应该把这次休息当作休假。但从另一方面说，她可能会申辩说，她的大鼻子妨碍了她的心理健康，所以这种手术跟其它手术一样必要——不过，总的来说，我在这个问题上是站在你那边的。 你还应该想想她回来工作时你该怎么做。一个同事最近“休假”回来，嘴唇变得像狒狒一样。这提出了一个棘手的礼节问题。我认为，最好的办法是假装没注意到，压根儿别说话。你知道，你的私人助理要做整形手术，等她回来，我会用一种关心的语调问她是否完全康复了。或许最好不要评论手术结果。也不要盯着看。 摆脱她的好机会 你帮了自己一个大忙。这个女人也许是有那么一点能力，但是，就算她不是完全不诚实，也是不忠诚、而且还骗人。她不以自己的行为为耻，反而威胁你。能摆脱她，是你的幸运。 顾问，女性，40多岁 送花 休息两周做整形手术？？！！她要干什么？彻底改头换面吗？ 你也许感到好奇，不过，你问这件事，也许就已经触犯了法律。大多数国家都有保护隐私的法律，根据这些法律规定，一名雇员请病假必须出示住院证明，但不要求讲明原因。你还搞糟了跟她的关系。道个歉，去医院送花吧。 风险师，女性，36岁 漂亮女人（更漂亮的女人） 这确实厚颜无耻，不过我觉得你也只能忍一忍。她牵制了你，因为好的私人助理很难找。让她去整容、把自己收拾利落吧。完全消肿之后，她会成为办公室里更靓丽的风景，所以，这对你来说也是件好事。 私人助理，女性，36岁 虚荣不正当 你做得非常正确。如果手术是出于虚荣，她就不该得到病假。我想你不会为你的雇员去发廊、健身房或美容院埋单——那么，为什么要为他们去做自选整形手术的手术室埋单呢？ 银行家，男性，53岁 她可以起诉 接受法律建议吧：如果你强迫她把这次休息当休假，你可能会面临起诉。因为她可能会说，那对维护她的自尊是必要的。根据你得到的建议，你要给她一周病假，作为一种友好的姿态。而且，记住要对她改善后的容貌加以恭维（除非她做的是丰胸手术，如果是那样，最好就别恭维了）。 分析师，女性，30 漂亮女人（更漂亮的女人）2 我有个这样的同事。她离开了几周，做了一个手术回来，这个手术让她减轻了大约10到15公斤体重。手术之后，她开心得多、自信得多。不要以为整容手术只是为了美。它也可能是生理方面的。如果你随后得到了一个更能干的私人助理，你也会高兴的。到底应该是病假还是休假？——也许各占一半吧。 会计师，男性，40多岁 译者/徐柳 |