【英语生活】我有抑郁症

I have been suffering from depression for years, but recently it has got so bad that I'm on sick leave. My boss has been fairly supportive, though clearly knows nothing about mental illness. I work at a bank, where the culture is macho. My persona at work is aggressive and upbeat, so I fear that if anybody finds out they'll conclude I can't hack the job. I‘ve told them I've got a virus, but I don't know if they believe me, and I think they may be talking behind my back. Should I tell the truth?

Banker, male, 39

Lucy's Answer

No, you should not tell your colleagues the truth and you should not feel bad about it either. It is not their business. Some will already suspect that “virus” means depression and some may have discussed it behind your back, but I doubt if they've done so with much gusto: ambitious City people tend mainly to be interested in themselves.

What you need to do is to stop minding what others think and concentrate on getting better. It sounds as if you are getting treatment, and I hope that some mixture of drugs and cognitive behaviour therapy will help in time.

For now, I suggest you look at readers' responses to your problem on ft.com and take heart at the number of others who are also depressed – and have found ways of coping.

Ignore the armchair therapists who declare that your problem is to do with the fact that your aggressive work persona is at odds with your real one. There is nothing wrong with acting aggressive in a macho environment: in fact, it is a sign of mental health to be able to be different people as the occasion demands.

Also ignore those who say your problem is working in the City. Your job may be a cause, or it may not be. Only you can know. There are lots of depressed people in the City – therapists say business is up by a third in a year. This might be because the work is more stressful, or it might be because City people are becoming less reluctant to get help.

Either way, it is not your responsibility to break taboos. Stephen Fry and the businessman Lord Stevenson have been congratulated on their bravery in clambering onto the couch in front of the nation. But both waited to discuss their illnesses until they had it under control and had notched up great success in spite, or perhaps because, of it.



Your Advice



Quit 1

Been there, done that, narrowly avoided nervous breakdown through counselling and medication. You're most likely depressed because of the toxic environment you work in, with ridiculous demands and screwed-up people. Get out. It saved my life, my marriage and my health.

Ex-banker, male

Quit 2

I was diagnosed as suffering from depression earlier this year. It was only after I sought therapy and identified the factors causing the depression (my City law firm job) that I was able to move on.

Ex-City lawyer

Work with it

As a sufferer of depression working in the City I can assure you that you can continue in your job. You need to learn to control it – anti- depressants, CBT, diet and exercise – and you'll have no problem performing at the same level (or better) than your colleagues.

City lawyer

Speak up

Be open: people can see through a “virus”. From experience, I know that telling colleagues might seem like “game over”, but you'll find it liberating. Depression is a lot more manageable once you've uttered the unmentionable to people who ought to know.

Banker, 35

Lie

As my expensive Harley Street psychiatrist tole me, “lie”. Your colleagues will think your depression is weakness and won't understand it. Some comfort: those of us who live with it would not give up having had the experience. You have had a closer view than most of the fragility as well as the splendour of the human spirit.

我得抑郁症已经有些个年头了，但最近病情很重，我只好休了病假。我的老板很支持我，尽管他显然对精神疾病一无所知。我在一家银行工作，那里的文化是“强悍”。在工作中，我积极进取，乐观向上，因此我担心，如果有谁发现了实情，他们会断定我无法胜任工作。我告诉他们我染上了病毒，不过我不知道他们信不信。我认为，他们也许会在背后议论我。我该讲出实情吗？银行家，男性，39岁

露西的回答

不，你不该告诉同事实情，也不该为此烦心。这不关他们的事。应该已经有人怀疑，“病毒”说的就是抑郁症，也许有人已经背着你议论过了。不过我怀疑他们这么做的时候会兴致盎然：因为野心勃勃的金融城人士往往只对自己感兴趣。

你要做的，就是不再介意别人的想法，把精力集中在康复上。听起来你好像正在接受治疗，我希望，药物和认知行为疗法(CBT)的结合，最终能帮到你。

目前，我建议你看看英国《金融时报》网站上读者对你问题的反应，看看有多少人也在遭受抑郁之苦——并且已经找到了解决方法，从此振作起来。

可能会有心理医生想当然地宣称，你的问题是因为你工作中积极进取的个性与现实中的你格格不入。别理会他们。在“强悍”的环境里表现得积极进取没有错：实际上，能根据环境要求，做出不同的表现，正是精神健康的标志。

也不要理会那些说你的问题是因为在金融城工作的人。你的工作也许是一个原因，但也可能不是。只有你自己才能知道。金融城有许多抑郁的人——心理医生说他们的生意一年增加了三分之一。这也许是因为金融城的工作压力更大，也许是因为金融城人士越来越不愿意寻求别人的帮助。

不管是哪种原因，打破禁忌都不是你的责任。人们恭喜史蒂芬•弗莱(Stephen Fry)和身为商界人士的史蒂文森勋爵(Lord Stevenson)有勇气当着全国人民的面爬上心理治疗椅。但他们两位都是等到病情得到控制，而且是在患病的情况下（或许正是因为患病），还取得了极大成就之后，才开始谈论自己的病。



读者建议

辞职（之一）

我也有过类似经历，通过心理咨询和药物治疗才勉强没有精神崩溃。你抑郁的根源很可能是因为你工作在有害的环境中，要求荒谬可笑，人人紧绷着弦。摆脱它吧。这拯救了我的生活、婚姻和健康。

前银行家，男性



辞职（之二）

今年早些时候，我被诊断出患上了抑郁症。直到求医问药、找出病因（我在金融城律所的工作）之后，我才能够继续过下去。

前金融城律师

带病工作又何妨？

我可以保证，作为一个在金融城工作的抑郁症患者，你可以继续干你的工作。你需要学会控制它——抗抑郁药、认知行为疗法、节食和锻炼。你一定可以表现得和同事一样好，或者更好。

金融城律师

大声说出来

坦率一些：人们会看穿“病毒”的谎言。以经验来看，我知道，告诉同事实情也许就像“游戏结束了”，但你会感到解脱。一旦你把抑郁症告诉了应该知道的人，这种难以启齿的事就好对付多了。

银行家，35岁。

编个瞎话好了

就我那价格不菲的哈利街心理医生告诉我的那样：“编个瞎话”。你的同事会认为你的抑郁症是个弱点，他们不会理解。安慰你一下：我们这些深受抑郁症之苦的人不会放弃拥有这种经历。你比大多数人都更切近地看到了人类精神的脆弱和壮丽。

匿名

译者/徐柳