【英语生活】老板看上女下属

I work for a company in Russia and have an exceptionally attractive woman on my team. She is 28, blonde and quite beautiful. The problem is my boss has a crush on her and I'm almost certain they're having an affair, despite his being 20 years older and married. She is bright and capable but somewhat over-promoted and this is making it hard to manage my team. Most are males, many of whom also have crushes on her, but now resent her too. Any ideas on how to manage this?

Manager, male, 35



LUCY'S ANSWER

What sort of thing did you have in mind? Did you see yourself complaining to some putative Russian HR department? Or solemnly taking your boss aside and telling him not to chase beautiful young women? Or maybe you saw yourself advising her to desist from the oldest trick in the book?

There is only one conceivable way of managing this, and that is to do nothing. What puzzles me is why it all troubles you so much. You say he's married and comment on the wide age gap between them. It's nice of you to fret about these things, but it's really none of your business. Indeed, your moralising makes me wonder where you have lived for the past 35 years. Evidently not in Russia.

You say the affair is making it hard to manage your team. Apparently your male underlings also lust after her, but is this making them into drooling imbeciles incapable of working? You say they resent the fact that she is “somewhat” over-promoted. But in that case my advice to them is to get over it (to borrow a phrase from my children). On most teams someone is over-promoted for one reason or another and everyone else puts up with it as a fact of office life. You say this woman is good at her job so she can't be as over- promoted as all that.

The real reason for your concern is transparent. You have a huge crush on this “quite beautiful” blonde yourself. That is why you are so troubled by an affair that would otherwise be a faintly diverting soap opera to tune into during office hours. If you are incapable of sitting back and enjoying the drama, then at least reassure yourself that it is unlikely to last. These shows run for a brief time only. When it is over your boss will almost certainly fire her. And will you be relieved? I suspect you'll miss her.



YOUR ADVICE

Mistress tells

I was once the young blonde mistress of a boss 20 years my senior. My colleagues were jealous but I handled it by working harder than any of them. So while they gossiped and complained, I learnt, got noticed, got promoted and eventually started my own company. Being the mistress got me into meetings I didn't yet belong in – but my brains, not my body, kept me there.

Entrepreneur, female



Don't tell HR

I had a similar situation when I worked for a Dutch multinational a few years ago. I told HR what was going on and they paid me to leave, preferring to protect their manager rather than cause a stink. Either do your best to ignore it or find another job.

Manager, male



Russian sex 1

You have clearly been working in Russia for about 30 seconds. This is normal business practice. In a straw poll of a mid-sized PR agency, about 75 per cent are having affairs. About 50 per cent of the women are more than averagely attractive. You'll get used to it in 18 months and start doing the same yourself.

Brit expat, male, 42



Russian sex 2

I've worked in Russia for 30 years and I can't remember an organisation that didn't have its quota of beautiful women who were having affairs with senior staff. Right now I run a project team of 30, and one beautiful girl is, I'm sure, having an affair with two of my most senior executives. If they can keep their sex lives from interfering with work, I turn a blind eye. If not, then out go the offenders, not on moral grounds, but for poor work performance.

Male, consultant, 60

我供职于俄罗斯的一家公司，我的团队中有一位极具魅力的女性。28岁的她金发碧眼，非常漂亮。问题是，我的老板爱上了她，尽管我的老板比她大20岁，而且是个已婚男人。我几乎可以肯定，他们之间发生了恋情。她不仅聪明，而且能力很强，但她升职过快，这让我很难管理自己的团队。我的团队中多数为男性，其中许多人对她也很迷恋，但如今他们也都开始恨她。我该怎么办？能给我出出主意吗？

经理，男，35岁





露西的答案





你脑子在想什么呢？你要向某个俄罗斯人事部门申诉吗？或者严肃地把你的老板拉到一边，告诉他不要追求年轻漂亮的女性？或者你可能建议她放弃这种老掉牙的伎俩？



我能想出的解决办法只有一个，那就是什么都不做。令我感到困惑的是，这件事为何让你如此心烦。你谈到他是个已婚男人，还说他们之间存在巨大的年龄差距。你为这些感到烦恼，你是好心，但那确实不关你的事。实际上，你的说辞让我想知道，过去35年你一直住在哪里。显然不是俄罗斯。



你说这一绯闻让你很难管理自己的团队。显然，你的男性下属也对她着迷，但这就让他们变成了留着口水的低能儿、没法儿工作了吗？你说，他们对于她升职“有些”过快心怀不满。但在这种情况下，我给他们的建议是忘了它吧（借用我孩子们的话）。在多数团队中，如果某人因为这样或那样的原因而升职过快，其他人会将其视为职场中的一个事实。你说，这位女士工作出色，因此她的升职不可能过快到那种程度。



你担心的真正原因显而易见。你自己也对这位“非常漂亮”的金发碧眼女郎非常着迷。这就是你为一场绯闻如此烦恼的原因。要不是这样的话，这将是一部职场生活中有趣的肥皂剧。如果你不能放松下来享受这场肥皂剧，那么至少要让你自己相信，这不太可能持续下去。这些表演只能持续很短的时间。几乎可以肯定，当表演结束，你的老板会解雇她。你会为此感到欣慰吗？我猜你会想念她呢。



你们的建议

情妇心声

我曾是大我20岁老板的年轻情妇，同样也是金发碧眼。我的同事因此妒忌我，但我的回应是，工作比所有人都努力。因此，尽管他们会有闲话和怨言，但我从中学到了知识，受到了重视，得到提升，最后创办了自己的公司。成为别人的情妇，让我参与了一些我本来无法参加的会议，但让我走到这一步的是我的大脑，而不是我的身体。



企业家，女

不要告诉人事

我有过类似的经历，几年前，我供职于一家荷兰跨国公司。我告诉人力资源部门发生了什么，他们让我结账走人，他们更愿意保护他们的经理，而不是暴出丑闻。要么尽力不去理会它，要么就换一份工作。

经理，男



俄罗斯性生活之一

很显然，你在俄罗斯仅工作了30秒左右。这是正常的企业惯例。根据一家中型公关公司的民意调查，约75%的员工都有绯闻。约50%的女性都不是一般的有魅力。18个月后，你就会习惯，然后做出同样的事情。

移居国外的英国人，男，42岁

俄罗斯性生活之二



我在俄罗斯工作了30年，我想不起有哪家公司没有漂亮女员工与高层员工有染的现象。如今，我管理着一个30人的项目团队。我肯定，其中一位女员工与我手下两位最高主管有染。如果他们能够不让自己的性生活影响工作，我就会睁一只眼闭一只眼。否则，冒犯者就会被炒鱿鱼，不是因为道德原因，而是由于工作表现欠佳。

男，咨询顾问，60岁

译者/梁艳裳