【英语生活】工作妈妈的问题

I am about to return to work after having my second child. I love my job but it is very demanding. I have suggested to my boss that I do it as a job share, and have found a woman to share with. He claims the job needs to be done by one person and has offered me something else part-time that I see as a step down. My company says it values its part-time employees. But I look around and see no female role models on job shares. Am I right to go on making a fuss?

Manager, female, 35

LUCY'S ANSWER

Don't go on making a fuss. You won't win, and I'm not even sure that you have right on your side.

You say your boss "claims" the job can't be done as a job share - the implication being that he is a bigoted enemy of the working mother.

Depending on what the job is, he may well be justified. Most demanding managerial jobs in big companies tend to be done better by one person than two. This is why there are no senior "role models" in your company on job shares. Such arrangements can be fine at junior levels, and can sometimes work in craft jobs such as journalism. Sometimes senior jobs are shared in the public and voluntary sectors, but even there the record is patchy.

So, don't protest, and drop your assumption that your manager is against you. In fact, it sounds as if he is being quite reasonable in offering you something else part time - which I suggest you take like a shot. Presumably the rate of pay will stay the same and, if the work is a bit less stressful than before, you should see that as a blessing. Looking after a baby and a small child is quite stressful too.

By far the most horrible thing about "the mommy track" is its name. Otherwise it is quite a nice place to be. All the surveys find that the happiest workers are part-time mothers - which I suspect is partly because they are not investing their entire selves in their work, and partly because the working part of the week is a respite for the body and a treat for the mind after the demands of the domestic part.

I don't want to depress you further, but as you are 35 you have nearly three decades of working life ahead of you - which is plenty of time to go back to full-time work, if that is what you want.

YOUR ADVICE

Make a fuss

Do not accept a demotion to work part-time. I was a litigator 28 years ago when I told my boss I wanted to work part---- time. He was horrified. I was working for the US government, and Jimmy Carter had decreed that part-time employment would be allowed. My boss was forced to accept my request and ended up realising I was still a good employee. Five years later I agreed to return to full-time and the same man gave me a significant promotion.

Director, female 57

Job-share joy

I have managed several job-sharing mothers and have found most to be outstanding. It works only if both the job sharers and the company want it to. The job sharers need to communicate constantly - if a client finds one of you doesn't know about something being dealt with by the other, you've failed. But more important, your boss needs to believe that mothers are worth sticking with. Yours clearly doesn't. If career progress is that important to you, get out.

PR, male, 58

Just do it

Don't "suggest" it, don't "make a fuss" - instead calmly and assertively make the case for it. Propose a six-month experiment with indicators of performance agreed by all parties. Don't look for a role model - be one, and handle it so well that the next one can just build on your success. Select well the other half and make the human resources department proud of it as if the initiative came from them.

HR manager, male, 63

Your baby

Instead of complaining about how unfair life is you could always look on it as a result of your choice to have a child.

Unless of course your company forced you to have a baby, in which case I take it back.

Finance director, male

生完第二个孩子之后，我即将重回工作岗位。我热爱我的工作，但工作非常劳神。我向老板提出了建议，希望有人分担工作，还找到了一位能够分担我工作的女士。老板声称，这份工作需要一个人来做，他给我提供了一些其它的兼职工作，而我觉得这是一种降职。我的公司号称重视兼职员工。但我查看了一下，发现公司没有女员工分担工作的先例。我该继续争取吗？



经理，女，35岁

露西的答案



别再抱怨了。你不会获胜，我甚至不确定你是否有权这样做。

你说你老板“声称”这份工作不能两个人分担——言下之意是，他是一位反对工作妈妈的老顽固。



根据工作的性质，他这样做很可能是合理的。大公司多数要求严格的管理职位，往往都是一个人干比两个人好。这就是你公司之所以没有可以分担工作的高层“先例”的原因。在低级职位，这种安排可能还不错，有时可能也适用于记者等技术性职位。有时候，公共和志愿者行业存在分担高级职位的情况，但即便在这些领域，记录也是褒贬不一。



因此，别去反抗了，不要认为你的经理是在针对你。实际上，他给你提供了一些其它兼职工作，这听上去很通情达理，我建议你立即接受。你的薪水大概还会保持原有水平，如果工作比原来轻松了一些，你应该把这视为一种恩惠。照看婴儿和小孩子也相当累人。



到目前为止，“妈妈路线”(mommy track)最可怕的地方是它的名字。否则，这将是个不错的东西。所有调查都发现，最快乐的员工是那些做兼职工作的妈妈们，我猜，一部分原因是他们并不把所有精力都投入到工作中，一部分原因是在家庭需要之外，工作令身体得到了休息，精神得到了放松。



我不希望进一步打击你，但你现在35岁，前面还有近30年的工作时间——你还有很多时间做全职工作，如果这是你想要的话。

读者建议



提出抱怨

不要接受让你做兼职的建议，这是对你降级。28年前，我是一位律师，当时我告诉老板，我想做兼职。他对此很惊诧。我当时为美国政府工作，吉米•卡特总统(Jimmy Carter)颁布了法令，允许兼职工作。我的老板被迫接受了我的请求，并最终意识到我仍是一位好员工。5年后，我同意重返全职工作，还是这位老板对我进行了大力提拔。



董事，女，57岁



分担工作的乐趣

我曾管理过几位分担工作的妈妈，我发现，多数人都很优秀。只有工作分担者和公司都希望这样做时才能实施。工作分担者需要随时保持联系——如果一位客户发现你们之中的一位不知道与另一个正在做的事情，你就失败了。但更为重要的是，你的老板需要认识到，妈妈们是值得一直聘用的。你的老板显然不清楚这点。如果事业进步对你如此重要的话，那就别去想了。



公关，男，58岁



直接去做吧

不要“建议”，不要“抱怨”，而要平静、坚定地找出理由。提出一个6个月的试验方案，采用各方都接受的业绩指标。不要找什么先例，自己去当先例，并做得出色，让后来者只须以你的成功为基础。选择一个优秀的工作分担者，让人力资源部为此感到骄傲，好像这一计划出自他们之手。



人力资源经理，男，63岁

你的宝宝

不要抱怨生活对你有多么不公平，你一直可以将此视为你选择要孩子的结果。



当然，除非是公司逼着你生孩子，如果是那样的话，我收回我上面的话。

财务主管，男



译者/梁艳裳