【英语生活】让爱情开放？

My partner and I have well-defined boundaries to our relationship; they are already liberal, and we are now considering permitting liaisons with others. The benefits for my partner are enormous, as she is an attractive young woman interested in men and women alike.
I, on the other hand, am an awkward wallflower of unremarkable appearance, who has trouble attracting women. Or at least I was until I met my partner. In the years we've been together, I've received a startling amount of unsolicited attention from women who would not have looked at me twice when I was single.
Can economics explain why I'm unappealing as a singleton, but hot property when with a stunning girlfriend? More importantly, will I still be hot property in a non-monogamous setup? As a consumer I seem to be able to have my cake and eat it, but as a commodity, can I both be had and eaten?
Confused, Paradise

Dear Confused,

Your sudden attractiveness does indeed have an economic explanation: your new admirers are rationally inferring information about you from the behaviour of your partner. She is vivacious, beautiful and intelligent, and yet she dates you; ergo you have hidden assets.

I am not sure an open relationship is wise. You are right to point out that your partner has much to gain from such an arrangement. Onlookers would rightly conclude that her commitment to you has few downsides for her, so doesn't convey much of a signal that you are a hidden gem. There is another risk. Through her experiments, your partner may discover an alternative lover who insists on a monogamous relationship. Monogamy may be a price worth paying, given that she is currently dating “an awkward wallflower of unremarkable appearance”. You currently live in paradise; don't risk being cast out.

我和女友把双方的关系划分得清清楚楚，给彼此留下自由的空间，现在我们还考虑允许各自与他人交往。这对我的女友十分有利，因为她是位颇具吸引力的年轻女子，对男人和女人都有兴趣。而我却貌不惊人，笨手笨脚，总是站在角落，很难吸引女性。至少在遇到女友之前是这样的。我们在一起的这些年里，女人们主动注意我的次数之多令人吃惊。可是在我孤身一人的时候，她们是不会看我第二眼的。经济学能够解释为什么我孤身一人时毫无吸引力，与漂亮女友在一起就惹人注目吗？更重要的是，在多边关系中，我还会有这么高的人气吗？作为一名消费者，我似乎能够鱼与熊掌兼得，可作为一种商品，我能够既是鱼又是熊掌吗？

困惑者，来自天堂

亲爱的“困惑者”：

对于你突如其来的吸引力，的确可以用经济学来解释：你的新仰慕者根据你女友的行为，合理地推断出有关你的情况。她活泼、漂亮、聪明，而她与你约会，这说明你具有不外露的优点。

我不能确定发展“开放的关系”(open relationship)是否明智。你恰如其分地指出，这种做法于你的女友有利。旁观者无疑会得出这样的结论：委身于你，对她来说有些许不足。因此，不要过多地暗示你是一颗隐藏的明珠。另外还存在一种风险。通过尝试，你的女友可能遇到一位要求她专一的新情人。鉴于她目前约会的对象是“一个貌不惊人、笨手笨脚、总是站在角落的家伙”，与新情人建立一对一的关系，对她来说或许是值得的。你目前身处天堂，不要去冒被逐出天堂的风险。

译者/岱嵩