【英语社会】企业家该不该结婚生子？

Last week I became a father for the third time – so, naturally, I've been meditating on the impact children have on our lives, and on entrepreneurs in particular. Does having a growing family help or hinder the task of expanding a business? Is settling down good for risk-takers? These are vital questions for anyone seeking to make their fortune.

When I was a single man without domestic responsibilities, I believed I possessed a powerful competitive advantage over rivals, who often appeared burdened by the obligations of parenthood. They could take few financial chances in their career, for fear of failing in their role as provider. They also suffered the incessant distractions of clamouring kids, and had to fulfil endless duties as conscientious fathers. For female self-starters the challenges were even more immense. To paraphrase the critic Cyril Connolly, my view was that there is no more sombre enemy of good business than the pram in the hall.

However, like many before me, once I married and became a dad (admittedly fairly late) I changed my tune. Suddenly, I understood that having obligations can act as a spur and a discipline. It can force you to grow up and to seize opportunities – because now there is a compelling reason to do so.

I realised that rearing children is tremendous training for the job of managing staff, and that having a family can help make you a more humane boss. Meanwhile, the encouragement and loyalty of a close family are a wonderful support during the inescapable dips suffered on the rollercoaster journey undertaken by every capitalist.

There are inevitably trade-offs: you cannot be a workaholic and a decent parent. So entrepreneurs – who are usually obsessed by their various schemes – have to learn to delegate better, and become even more efficient in allocating their time. You cannot possibly pursue all the deals you might have done before. And the emotional and financial cost of children is not to be underestimated – either you make career sacrifices or the balancing act will fail.

And there can be innocent casualties if you reach for the stars. Frequently, the children of the self-employed see less of their dad (or mum if she is the go-getter) than if their parent had a nine-to-five job. And entrepreneurs do sometimes go bankrupt. Charles Dickens was psychologically scarred for life at the age of 12 when his father went bust.

Nevertheless, I know an extremely wealthy property speculator who is over 50, unmarried (but heterosexual) and exhibits no inclination to start a family. He worries about gold diggers and the threat of compromise to his selfish playboy lifestyle. He has grown rich by being a contrarian, and no doubt sees family life as a conspiracy to blunt his ambitions and dilute his commercial endeavours.

I look at him and I am reminded of an acquaintance who used to chat up girls half his age in a flashy Chelsea bar I once owned. He was a fiftysomething roué, and I vowed I would never end up a desperate, seedy figure like him; better the joy (and occasional torment) of paternal duties.

Because we all get old. Why struggle to amass riches only to see them dissipated through death duties and passed to distant relatives? Surely it's better to have a partner and blood offspring who will inherit. Personally I do not have dynastic tendencies but, for hundreds of family firms, begetting the next generation of owners is an absolute imperative. I rather admire long-established, family-managed enterprises. There is something wonderfully permanent about their perspective.

After all, who wants to be a lonely millionaire, with no spouse or children to comfort them in their sunset years? To me entrepreneurs create tomorrow for a living, and what better legacy to continue that mission than a child – or even three. As Abraham Lincoln said: “A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started . . . the fate of humanity is in his hands.” And when a successful self-made citizen becomes a parent, they should surely teach their children the merits of being an entrepreneur.

上周，我第三次成为了父亲——所以，很自然地，我也一直在思考孩子给我们生活、尤其是给企业家带来的影响。家庭成员越来越多，是有助于还是有碍于做大企业？对爱冒险的人来说，成个家安顿下来是好事吗？对任何想方设法发迹的人来说，这些问题都至关重要。

当我还是一名未被家庭拖累的单身汉时，我相信，相对那些常常被父母职责压得喘不过气来的竞争对手而言，我拥有强大的竞争优势。由于担心尽不到养家的责任，他们在事业上很少会用资金来冒险。他们还会不断地因小孩的吵闹而分心，不得不履行一个细心周到父亲无穷无尽的职责。对于女性创业者而言，困难更是多得没边儿。我认为，创业成功最大的敌人就是门厅里的婴儿车——评论家西里尔•康诺利(Cyril Connolly)也说过类似的话。

然而，就像我之前的许多人一样，一旦结了婚、作了父亲（诚然，相当之晚），我的想法就改变了。我突然懂得了，责任可以成为一种鞭策和纪律。它可以迫使你成长、迫使你抓住机遇——因为现在你有了不得不这么做的理由。

我意识到，养育孩子是对如何管理员工的极好的培训，并且，拥有家庭可以帮助你成为一个更有人情味的老板。另外，每一位资本家在过山车式的创业旅程中都不可避免地会遭遇事业滑坡，在这个时候，来自亲密家人的鼓励与忠诚，会给你极大的支持。

当然，你必须学会权衡：你不可能既是工作狂，又是称职的父母。所以，常常被各种安排缠身的企业家，必须学习更好地授权，并且更加有效地分配自己的时间。你不可能像以前那样，寻求达成每笔交易。而且，不要低估养育孩子的情感与资金成本——要么你做出事业上的牺牲，要么平衡就会被打破。

此外，如果你有揽月之志，那可能会“伤及无辜”。一般来说，相对拥有一份朝九晚五工作父母的孩子，自主创业家庭的孩子见到父亲（或母亲，如果母亲事业心强的话）的次数更少。另外，企业家有时还会破产。查尔斯•狄更斯(Charles Dickens)就因父亲在其12岁时破产而留下终生的心灵创伤。

尽管如此，我还是认识一位极其富有的房地产投机商，他已经年过50岁，但尚未结婚（非同性恋），而且也没表示出组建家庭的意向。他担心女人是为了他的钱跟他结婚，也担心可能要改变其自私的花花公子式的生活方式。他是通过逆向投资发家的，所以，毫无疑问，他视家庭生活为冲淡其野心与商业进取心的阴谋。

看到他，我就想起了一个熟人：这人常在我以前开的一家灯红酒绿的切尔西酒吧内勾搭比他小一半的女孩。他是一个五十多岁的好色之徒，我曾发誓，自己永远不要变成像他那样的绝望下流之背；享受尽父母之责的欢乐（与偶尔的痛苦）比这要好。

因为我们都会变老。为何辛辛苦苦地聚敛财富，最后只能看着它们被遗产税吞掉一部分、然后把剩下的留给远方亲戚呢？显然，让配偶与亲生子女来继承会更好。我个人并无意建立什么世家，但对众多家族企业而言，生育下一代企业主是一项义不容辞的责任。我相当仰慕那些历史悠久的家族企业。在它们的经营之道中，存在一些近乎永恒的东西。

毕竟，谁想成为一个孤独的亿万富翁、晚年时没有伴侣或子女来安慰自己？在我看来，企业家是以创造未来为生。为了继续履行这项使命，还有什么是比留下一个——甚至三个——子女更好的选择呢？正如亚伯拉罕•林肯(Abraham Lincoln)所说：“孩子将继续你开始的一切……人类的命运掌握在他们的手中。”当一位白手起家的成功人士成为父亲或母亲时，他们肯定会教授自己孩子作为一名企业家应该具备的品质。

译者/董琴