【英语生活】失业者如何写名片？

I recently left an international banking group and, after having lived for 18 months on the pay-off, have almost run out of cash and need to get back into the workforce. I have discovered that no employer is interested in me if I say that I've been – and still am – bone idle. I need a title to put on a business card. In Transition, Business Consultant sounds too boring. I thought about what I'm good at, and it's fixing broken or underperforming businesses. So perhaps Business Fixer or Business Transformer? What do you think?

Unemployed male, 41

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Lucy's answer

Your idea that a piece of cardboard could be helpful in finding a job in 2010 seems wildly extravagant. But actually you are right – the business card is a rare analogue survivor in the digital age. One day our iPhones and BlackBerrys may be able to exchange details without us intervening, but until then a bit of cardboard is the best thing we have.

Unfortunately, all of your suggestions of what you write on it are bad. “In Transition” is too blatant (and too pretentious) a euphemism for unemployed.

“Business Fixer” is too slangy and “Business Transformer” is too grandiose. Both beg too many questions: what have you fixed or transformed? Still worse, both are lies. In fact, you aren't a fixer or transformer, you're a former banker who, after a period as a layabout, is now looking for a job.

The harder you try to hide your current idleness with a form of words, the more likely you are to draw attention to it.

Recently I was shown the card of an unemployed journalist that said under her name: “Life explorer, multimedia storyteller, experience architect.” This description would have ruled her out had I been considering her for a job as a reporter.

It's not just the unemployed who like to cover their cards in guff. In the bottom of my handbag are cards that say “Senior Vice President for Cross-Industry Workflow” and “Client Value Enhancement Executive” – neither of which leave me any the wiser.

There are two points to a business card. One is to remind people who you are. The other is tell people how to get in touch with you.

The most memorable thing for you to write on a card under your name is nothing – thereby suggesting that you consider your name to be important enough to stand alone.

This impression will be even stronger if you spend money on thick white card with a plain yet classy black typeface.

Then you will be left with the rather bigger job of devising a story to explain what you have been up to that is not entirely devoid of truth but that avoids the words “bone” and “idle”.

问题

我最近离开了一家跨国银行集团，在依靠遣散费生活了18个月后，已经几乎身无分文，急需找一份新工作。我发现，如果我说自己一直——且目前仍然是待业在家，没有一个雇主会对我感兴趣。我需要在名片上给自己安一个头衔。在过渡时期，商业咨询师听上去太过乏味。我想了想自己擅长什么，发现是修复破产或者表现不佳的企业。所以，或许可以用企业修理师，或者企业变革者？你觉得怎样？

失业男，41岁

露西的回答

你认为在2010年，一张硬纸片可以帮助你找到工作，这种想法看上去极为荒谬。但事实上你是对的——在数字时代，名片是模拟时代罕见的幸存者。或许有一天，我们的iPhone和黑莓(BlackBerry)能够无需我们的介入就能交流细节，但在此之前，一张小小的硬纸片将是我们所拥有的最好的东西。

遗憾的是，你有关名片内容的所有建议都很糟糕。对于失业者而言，“过渡期”这个委婉语太过刺眼（也太过狂妄）。

“企业修理师”太俚语化，“企业变革者”又太过庄重。两者都会让人产生许多疑问：你曾修复或变革了什么？更糟糕的是，两者都是谎言。事实上，你不是修理师，也不是变革者，你是一名前银行家，在做了一段时期的无业游民之后，正在寻找一份新工作。

你越是努力通过构词来隐藏你目前的失业状态，你就越有可能让雇主注意到这一点。

最近，一名失业记者向我展示了她的名片，在她的名字下面有这样的内容：“人生探险者、多媒体叙事者、阅历设计师。”如果是我想招一名记者，这种描述应该会将她淘汰出局。

不只是失业者喜欢在名片上瞎扯。在我手提包底部有两张名片，上面写着：“跨行业工作流程高级副总裁”与“提高客户价值主管”——两者都让我摸不着头脑。

一张名片包含两个要素。一是提醒人们你是谁。另一个是告诉人们如何与你联系。

在名片上名字下方，最令人难忘的就是什么都别写——从而表明你认为自己的名字很重要，足以单独突显出来。

如果你花钱制作质地厚实的白色名片，上面印着朴素但优雅的黑色字体，这种印象会更加深刻。

然后你就要完成一项更为重要的任务：设计一个故事，解释你一直在忙什么，不要完全背离事实，但要避免使用“懒骨头”之类的词汇。

译者/何黎