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2010-5-30 03:18
The problem
One of my colleagues has an intensely annoying cough, which is riling all those who sit near her. Normally there would be sympathy but she insists on continuing to smoke, in spite of my light-hearted suggestion that she knock it on the head during her malaise. She is interrupting our work, and causing rising levels of stress in the team. How can I address this before someone in the office snaps and verbally explodes? Trader, male, 32 Lucy's answer There is absolutely nothing you can do about this woman's cough. You say that your light-hearted little quips about her smoking haven't made any difference. Of course they haven't – smoking is an addiction. It's also practically illegal now, and anyone smoking must be truly dedicated to it to put up with being treated like a criminal or a pariah. The cough is something that she has little control over. It is a reflex and is probably disturbing her even more than it is annoying you. You imply that what annoys you isn't the cough itself but the fact that she smokes. It's kind of you to worry about the health of other workers, but I suggest that you stop now. That way madness lies. Being in an office means sitting in close proximity with other people. And other people can be dementing if you let them be. The state of being annoyed is like being itchy – you have to scratch. If it wasn't this woman's cough, you would be being driven mad by something else: by the way someone clears their throat or eats their yoghurt. To survive at work you must learn to turn this irritable facility off, or at least turn it down. The trouble is that giving up being annoyed is almost as hard as giving up smoking. You need to make an enormous act of will not to let it get to you. Ignore it, or think of the cough as background noise – if not as the sound of waves lapping on the shore, then as a dog barking. The thing that troubles me most about your message is your fear that unless you do something, someone (else?) will snap and verbally explode. I can't see why this would be such a calamity. When I used to work in a trading room many years ago barely an hour went by without various people snapping and exploding into a foul-mouthed shouting fit. Have things really got so much more restrained in the past two decades? And is that a good thing? If there were more opportunities for letting off the steam that builds up in stressful, dysfunctional trading jobs, then the sound of a woman coughing would be much easier to ignore. Your advice Manage productivity I too have a smoking, coughing colleague. I have noticed that when she is deeply engaged in a task the coughing attenuates and even ceases completely. When the task is finished, or she takes a break, the coughing returns as if by magic. Was it Benjamin Franklin who said: “The art of acting consists of stopping people from coughing”? Perhaps the same could be said of good management. Anon, male Unsubtle hints Cough in unison when she coughs. Interpreter, semi-retired Off with her head In I Claudius, the Emperor Caligula sends a centurion to investigate the sound of annoying coughing from his nephew's room. The centurion returns, holding the boy's severed head. Perhaps you could consider this? Journalist, male, 46 Have a meltdown Is she just coughing or hawking stuff up on the desk as well? She is obviously doing it purposely to annoy you. Ask her to stop as politely as you can. Then escalate to shouting and then proper meltdown. She will cave in eventually, it is just a matter of time and how stubborn she is. Anon, male Healthy intolerance What's needed here is some “tough love”. People who tolerate her smoking are inadvertently abetting her ill health and early demise. Social censure is an effective means of helping her help herself. Don't hold back. Anon, male Suck it up Before tackling the cough issue take another look around the office – spot any of the following? Chewed nails, dandruff, bulging waistlines, unfashionable shoes, odd socks, crooked teeth etc. All of these are self-inflicted to some extent – do they annoy you too? Buy some cough sweets and project your stresses elsewhere. Female, anon Beyond your control Kick it upwards because: (a) it's a team issue and is therefore your boss's responsibility; (b) if there is something wider, then best it rests with the boss and not “the group”; and (c) there's a way better chance she'll listen to her boss on this than you. And go and buy earplugs. Economist, male, 28 Next problem: In search of the perfect sign-off I have recently moved jobs from a fairly traditional bank to a much less formal commercial bank where the friendly approach to business is encouraged. In most regards, I feel I am settling in well, but I still feel that the tone of my e-mails is not quite right. I'm looking for an e-mail sign-off that can be used in office correspondence, is brief (perhaps one word), which is less formal than “Regards” but is not over-friendly as in “Cheers” or “Best” etc. Any suggestions? Banker, male, 46 问题
我的一位同事咳嗽起来极其烦人，惹得坐在她身旁的人都愤愤不已。正常情况下，咳嗽会让人同情，可她坚持继续吸烟，尽管我温和地劝她，在身体不适期间应该掐灭烟头。她在打扰我们的工作，导致团队中的气氛越来越紧张。 我该如何解决这件烦心事，以免哪天办公室里有人发起脾气，破口大骂？ 交易员，男，32岁 露西的回答 你显然什么也做不了。 你说，你温和而巧妙的劝诫，并没有让事情变得有所不同。当然会如此——吸烟是一种瘾。现在，它事实上还是非法的，任何吸烟者都必须是真正醉心于它，才能忍受人们像对待罪犯或贱民一样对待他们。 咳嗽是她几乎无法控制的。这是一种反射，而且可能比对你的影响更让她烦心。 你暗示说，让你感到恼火的不是咳嗽本身，而是她吸烟的事实。你很体贴，会担忧其他同事的健康，但我建议你现在就停止，否则抓狂就离你不远了。 坐办公室意味着要和其他人挨得很近。如果由着他们的性子来，你可能会被搞得抓狂。 被人弄得很烦就像皮肤瘙痒一样——你不得不去挠。就算不是这个女人的咳嗽，还会有其它事情搅得你发疯：例如其他人清嗓子或喝酸奶的样子。 要想在职场中生存，你必须学会压抑自己易怒的脾性，至少能有所克制。 但麻烦在于，指望不受打扰几乎和戒烟一样难。你必须意志相当坚定，才能不让它影响到你。 别去理会它，或者把咳嗽声想象成背景音——如果无法想成海浪拍岸的声音，那就想象成狗吠声。 你信中最让我感到忧虑的，其实是你担心如果自己不做点什么，就会有人（还有谁吗？）发脾气，并破口大骂。我实在不明白这个问题怎么会这么严重。 多年前，我在一间交易室工作。几乎每个小时都会有不同的人发脾气，满嘴脏话地大声嚷嚷。人们真的在过去20年里变得更矜持了吗？这算好事吗？ 如果有更多的渠道释放在充满压力、功能失调的交易工作中积压的紧张情绪，那么忽视一个女人的咳嗽声就会容易得多。 你的建议 生产率管理 我也有一个吸烟加咳嗽的同事。我注意到，在她因为某项任务忙得不可开交时，咳嗽就会减轻，甚至完全停止。 当完成任务后，或休息一下时，咳嗽就会立刻回来，就像施了魔法一样。 好像是本杰明•富兰克林(Ben Franklin)说过：“表演艺术能够让人们停止咳嗽”。或许出色的管理也一样。 佚名，男 提示她，用不着含蓄 在她咳嗽时集体咳嗽 口译译员，半退休 砍掉她的头 在克劳狄一世(I Claudius)时期，卡里古拉皇帝(Caligula)派一名百夫长去调查他侄子房间里传出的恼人咳嗽声。这名百夫长回来时，手里拎着这个男孩儿被砍下的头颅。或许你也可以考虑一下这个主意？ 记者，男，46岁 勃然大怒 她只是咳嗽，还是把桌子上的东西都给咳掉了？ 她显然是在故意烦你。尽可能礼貌地让她住嘴。接着逐步提高嗓门，最后彻底发飙。 最终她会屈服的，只不过是时间问题和她的顽固程度。 佚名，男 合理地拒绝容忍 我们需要一些“粗暴的爱”。容忍她吸烟的人在不经意间成了她健康欠佳和早逝的教唆者。 社会谴责是帮助她自救的有效手段。别犹豫不决啦。 佚名，男 忍着 在着手解决咳嗽问题之前，再环视一圈办公室——有以下现象吗？被啃过的指甲、头皮屑、皱皱巴巴的衣服腰身、土里土气的鞋子、古怪的袜子、奇形怪状的牙等等。 在一定程度上，所有这些毛病都是自己造成的——它们影响到你了么？ 去买一些止咳糖，把你的紧张情绪释放到别处去。 女，佚名 这是你力所不能及的 把球踢给老板，因为：首先，这是一个团队问题，因此是你老板的责任；第二，如果事情闹大了，最好让你的老板来解决，而不是“团队”；第三，她听老板话的可能性要远远大于听你的话。 去买一副耳塞吧！ 经济学家，男，28岁 下一个问题 寻找最佳问候语 我最近换了工作，从一家相当传统的银行跳到一家不那么古板的商业银行。新公司提倡一种亲善的工作氛围。在大多数情况下，我都自以为适应得不错，但仍感觉我在电子邮件里的语气不太对劲。我在寻找一个能用在办公电子信函结尾处的问候语，够简洁（可以是一个词），没有“Regards”那么正式，但又不像“Cheers”或“Best”那样太过亲密。您有什么建议吗？ 银行家，男，46岁 译者/何黎 |