【英语生活】老板不是东西怎么办？

The problem



I am a senior executive in a leading bank. The chief executive, who has been in place for the past three years, has systematically filled all the key positions with his cronies and has single-handedly destroyed all employee loyalty and morale. He cares only about short-term results (which is what drives his compensation) and expects people to put up with abuse on a daily basis.

I am not the only person who is offended by this culture - and in a different economic environment would have moved by now. How, if at all, other than writing to you anonymously, should we deal with this situation? Banker, male, 49

Lucy's answer

Your situation sounds perfectly normal to me. Most CEOs are mainly directed towards the short term: it would be irrational if they were not. This is because their average length in the job is brief and if they screw up the short term, they get chucked out. Most CEOs surround themselves with their cronies. Or, to put it in a less loaded way, they surround themselves with people they can work with - which usually means people they like and trust.

The reason all this seems so sinister to you is that you are one of the few survivors from the old regime, which means you naturally distrust the team coming in and resent their clannishness.

You complain that morale is low. This too is natural. Yours is low because it is wretched being in a minority, and others' is probably low because banking has been in crisis. If morale were sky high, I would be even more worried.

You say he abuses people, but even this is not unusual. Plenty of good CEOs are bullies - the answer is to keep out of his way and if he lets rip at you, not to take it too personally.

Despite the above, it is perfectly possible this man is unusually horrible and is making ever poorer decisions than others in your sector. If this is so, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it other than bide your time and know that he will get found out before long. And then you will have another new broom to get used to, who might be as bad as this one - or worse.

I am touched by your faith that writing to me is in itself going to help. Do you expect your CEO will read this, recognise himself and suddenly change his ways? I think it almost inconceivable that he would see himself as the man you describe, but even if he did, his likely response would be less to search his soul than to search his top team for the troublemaker. I fear he will track down Banker, male, 49 pretty quickly, given that you are one of the only surviving non-cronies on his top team. Let us hope, for your sake, that he is too busy tearing a strip off his workers to pick up the Financial Times today.

Your advice

Get out



Move on. I left a company headed by an egotistical executive who had lost all sense of appropriateness and reality and I did so during a recession (early 1990s) but I carefully laid the foundation for my next venture, which I am still engaged with - and happily so, I might add. Consultant, male

He will not change



You cannot change people. Your boss has a certain style and nothing you do will alter that. My advice is either to learn to live with the abuse and find some way to block it out or to up sticks and take the risk of finding a new, calmer employer who creates a more congenial working environment. Anon, male

Normal behaviour



Almost all the CEOs I have worked for in the past 30 years included regular verbal abuse of subordinates in their armoury. Maybe I have been unlucky but I doubt it. Even wanting to be a CEO demands a special psychology - they are nice as pie to financial journalists, junior secretaries and key customers, but they punch below the belt regularly with almost everyone else.

They are also good at detecting conspiracies. They expect it. It is part of their world view. My advice? Dive, and quickly. Vice-president, male, 56

Join the inner circle



You have to adapt and adapt quickly. I would try to get in the CEO's good graces and begin to figure out what he is up to that you so far have not been privy to. Self-employed, male, 34

Plot his downfall



Groom a pretender (for lack of a better word), build a coalition, and wait for your CEO to screw up, which he will if he is a short-termer. Then pounce. Economist, male, 28

Blast from the past



Your letter has clearly been lost in the post and has just been delivered two years after it was written. Banker, male, 50s

Film him



I'd suggest you covertly record/video him in full rant and post it on YouTube or similar media. Taking care, of course, to cover your tracks. Anon, female

The next problem

I cannot decide what to eat



I know this will sound laughable, but every lunchtime I stop being a highly capable person and turn into a dithering fool over what to eat. Around my office there is an enormous choice of different sandwich bars and every day I dither between them. Then, once inside, I stand at the chilled cabinet and find myself picking up smoked salmon on granary, then taking up a brie baguette, putting that back down and in despair heading out of the shop with a tuna melt, when I don't even like tuna. Does anyone else have this problem? And what do they do about it? PA, female, 45

问题

我是一家顶尖银行的高管。我们已在位3年的CEO有计划地在所有关键岗位上都安插了自己的亲信，一手催毁了所有员工的忠诚与士气。他只在乎短期效益（他的薪酬有赖于此），还指望人们天天都忍受辱骂。

我不是唯一对这种文化感到反感的人，而且，换一个经济环境，我早就跳槽了。可是现在，除了匿名给你写信，我们还有什么办法来应对这种情况呢？

银行家，男，49岁

露西的答案



对我来说，你的情况听上去再普通不过了。多数CEO都主要关注短期效益：如果他们不这样做，才是有违理性的。这是因为这种工作的平均寿命很短，如果他们搞不好短期效益，就会被炒鱿鱼。多数CEO都会把亲信安排在自己身边。或者用不那么愤怒的话来说，他们在周围安排自己能够与之共事的人，这通常意味着他们喜欢并相信这些人。

而所有这些在你看来都如此邪恶，原因是，你是少数几个从旧体制中幸存下来的人之一，这意味着，你必然会不信任新进来的团队，并憎恨他们的帮派行为。

你抱怨说，员工士气低落。这也很自然。你士气低落是因为作为少数派之一，你感到沮丧，其他人士气低落可能是因为，银行业正陷于危机。如果员工士气高涨，我还会更担心一些。

你说他骂人，但即便是这点也并非不同寻常。许多CEO都很霸道，解决办法是，避开他，如果他对你大吼大叫，也不要太往心里去。

话说回来，此人完全有可能是一个格外糟糕的人，他做出的决策有可能比该行业的其他人都差。如果是这样，那么你根本无能为力，只能耐心等待，相信不久之后他的无能将暴露出来。到那时，你要去适应另一位新官，他可能与此人一样糟糕，或者更糟。

让我感动的是，你相信写信给我本身会对你有所帮助。你希望你的CEO会读到这封邮件、意识到自己的问题、然后突然改变他的方式吗？我认为，他几乎不可能把自己看成你所描述的那个人，但即使他看出这是在说他，他的回应很可能也不是探究自己的灵魂，而是在他的高级团队中排查这个惹事的人。我担心，他会很快查出“银行家、男、49岁”到底是谁，因为你是他高级团队里少数幸存的非亲信之一。为了你着想，我们希望他今天会忙于责骂员工，而忘了拿起一份英国《金融时报》。

读者们的建议

辞职



离开吧。我离开了一个老板自以为是的公司，对于什么是合适与现实的，他丧失了所有意识。我是在衰退期间辞职的（上世纪90年代初），但我谨慎的为下一步职场冒险奠定了基础，如今我仍然在从事这份工作，或许我可以加上一点，很快乐。

咨询顾问，男

他不会改变



你不可能改变一个人。你的老板具有某种风格，你所做的任何事都不会改变这点。我的建议是，要么学会忍辱负重，找到听过就忘的方法，要么冒险辞职，找一个更为平静、善于创造更宜人工作环境的新雇主。

匿名，男

正常行为



过去30年来我效力过的几乎所有CEO都经常责骂下属。或许是我格外不幸，但我怀疑不是。即便是想要成为一名CEO，都需要具备某种特殊的心理素质：他们在金融记者、低层秘书以及关键客户面前异常亲切，但对其他人几乎都很粗暴。

他们还擅长发现阴谋。他们预料会有阴谋。这是他们世界观的一部分。我的建议？快点进入沉潜默隐的状态吧。

副总裁，男，56岁

加入核心小圈子



你必须适应，越快越好。我会努力博得这位CEO的好感，并搞清楚他在做哪些你至今还不了解的事情。

自由职业者，男，34岁

策划搞垮他



物色一个觊觎者（找不到更好的词汇）、打造一个联盟，等待你的CEO出丑，如果他是一个关注短期效益的人，他会出丑的。然后突袭他。

经济学家，男，28岁

迟到的信件



你的信显然在邮寄过程中丢失了，在你写完两年后才投递。

银行家，男，50多岁

偷拍他的举止



我建议你偷偷拍（或录）他大吼大叫的样子，然后把它贴到YouTube或类似的媒体上。当然，要小心掩盖你的痕迹。

匿名，女

下一个问题

我不知道吃什么



我知道这听上去很可笑，但每次午餐时，我都不再是一个具备高度能力的人，而变成了一个傻傻的不知道吃什么的人。在我的办公室周围，有很多不同的三明治餐厅，每天我都会因为要在其中进行选择而紧张不安。一旦我走进店去，我会站在冷藏柜前，发现自己拿起一份熏三文鱼，然后又拿起一份咸乳酪棍子面包，接着又把它们都放回去，最后绝望的拿起一份金枪鱼三明治走出餐厅，但我当时并不想吃金枪鱼。别人也有这种问题吗？他们是怎么解决的？

私人助理，女，45岁

译者/梁艳裳